Thursday, April 30, 2009

frenzy/slut folder

what's interesting is that i am either all things or none. ecstatic or murderous. i'm not too worried. tom bought me seven tiny coloured presents, tiny tiny knickers. what i'm really wondering is how he can't see how actually horrid they look on me. i mean they aren't proportional at all. but he was very swollen, so i just let him have it.

the other night after dinner i wanted a naughty dessert pour le corps (my corps), he said no i have things to do and i said okay, eventually. it was fine. i'm not crazy like i was. but i found a folder accidentally on his computer called 'sluts'. images of women with truly hideous jewel boxes, and truly hideous faces. all the images filed on the night of the dinner. i mean everyone looks at porn, i mean i do it all the time. but he cuts me. i've got things to do, i've got to go compile a file of whore pictures.

he cuts me. but i'm not crazy like i was. i'm on the pills. the anti crazy. the neutralizers. the nothing makers.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

bi polar

hello all i am little bit bi polar. i am very unreasonable. push people to end of tether. breaking point. camel's back. i push people to camel's back. it is compulsive though you wouldn't know it. i write 'i'm sorry forgive me' love from handful. that's my nickname; handful.

peeping tom has the most divine penis. we have become very fond of each other. at least i hope it's mutual, of course it is. he is so tough sometimes. but he is awake which is a miracle.

tom has made some rules, which scare the willies out of me, it all ends with rules, it all begins to end with rules. i hate it. i hate him sometimes. the opposite of love is indifference. the opposite of love is indifference. the opposite of love is laying in this bed reading this book that i have read three other times and waiting until i can't stand him any longer.

oh lord. don't let me be misunderstood. i'm just a soul who's intentions are good...but am i? i am little bit bi polar after all.