catastrophe?

my sophia says there's an orange cat that sits in the mouth of our street, guarding the way, keeping watch, the night poster, graveyard shifter. it's so that he can let in neptune warriors. it's a pretty garden beyond the orange cat, so that's why he's so discerning. it is a pretty garden. it's a rainforest full of moss, turkey mounds, tea party, and you can sometimes see a boys and girls swimming nude in cement pond. the pond has red lights under the water, and believe me its eerie when you're nude in there and there's a red tinge to everything, it's like swimming in a pond of blood. tom and i swam in the blood pond, it was a fantasy of ours.
what else can i say? i'm weak as water, weak and wondrous, cantankerous, anxious, tearful, careless. its catastrophic. but the thing about the future is that its a totally empty space. i'm at least curious about what might happen.

silly scrumptious

today i read this truly wicked thing, on a wicked van. it said 'i certainly don't trust something that bleeds for five days straight and doesn't die'. it's about women isn't it, about menstruation? about that blood. but it's dirty blood isn't it, it's a home burnt down, a tsunami gone right through a nearly-nest. this kind of cramp is like having all your organs pushed inside your bladder, its like putting fergus in a baggie, and having to wait until he pops the seams before you can close it.

second person again... interesting.

i have a crush on an older woman.
but i also have a crush on an older man.

i tasted my own pussy/vagina the other day. sorry every one. but its true. there comes a point where you're just not squeemish any longer, you're brazen, nearly vulgar. you tell ex boyfriends about anal sex when they ask you. i should say: i tell them. i tell them about it. i'm vulgar.

but its okay. my fernlike friend said yesterday 'there's this side of anon that is just a little bit slutty, i've discovered that she's just a little bit slutty.' and i said 'you know i think everyone is if they let themselves be.' and i do think so. i think i'm slutty deep down. and i think you slutty.

so it's christmas eve and i'm about to visit peeping tom. we aren't going to get spicey i suspect but i mean, i could be wrong.