catastrophe?

my sophia says there's an orange cat that sits in the mouth of our street, guarding the way, keeping watch, the night poster, graveyard shifter. it's so that he can let in neptune warriors. it's a pretty garden beyond the orange cat, so that's why he's so discerning. it is a pretty garden. it's a rainforest full of moss, turkey mounds, tea party, and you can sometimes see a boys and girls swimming nude in cement pond. the pond has red lights under the water, and believe me its eerie when you're nude in there and there's a red tinge to everything, it's like swimming in a pond of blood. tom and i swam in the blood pond, it was a fantasy of ours.
what else can i say? i'm weak as water, weak and wondrous, cantankerous, anxious, tearful, careless. its catastrophic. but the thing about the future is that its a totally empty space. i'm at least curious about what might happen.